I thought it was just a personal problem. The habit of redirecting every compliment I receive to it's "rightful home" (read: anything that isn't me). But after a recent attempt to acknowledge a woman in a fitness class for crushing a particular exercise and receiving the response of  "Oh, it's just the coffee" it struck home how ubiquitous this behavior is. And now it's consuming my attention. I even found myself today prematurely concocting a reason why I was wearing a nice jumpsuit, just in case someone complimented me on it.  I know I always feel very awkward when any sort of spotlight is taken to me and the quickest way out is a simple deflection. What crazy backwards mind palace am I living in? Oh, ya the one that has been built on a foundation of lack of worth mixed in with decades of cultural training.

Many of us seem to be conditioned to immediately pass on recognition for the things we do and attribute it to someone (or more frustratingly someTHING) else. It is almost a twisted version of humility and I no longer want a part of it. Sharing praise and lifting others up around us is a noble goal, but dis-owning our part in it completely is another.